If there were a beautiful naked woman begging for me to have my way with her, I would say "No can do. I am married."
If a stranger walked up to me on the street and asked me to help them rob a bank, I would say "No thanks dude, not a big fan of prison."
But if I am trying to live a healthier lifestyle, and there is a Drumstick in the freezer.. well god dammit, one won't kill me, I'm going to eat that fucking ice cream treat. (Which just happened tonight... it was not pictured on my Instagram account, because... well... it all happened so fast.)
Will power. Its a mother fucker.
Its an interesting time to decide to make changes in my life. My wife is incubating a tiny human for the next 6 months. She is craving some of the strangest unhealthy foods on a daily basis. As the man who put her in this "temporary situation". Of course I must leave the cave to get her food and bring it back to the cave. (I am a mothafuckin' cave man for my lady).
Each of these random (usually late night) excursions ends up being a test of my will power. Two nights ago I was sent to Sonic at 11pm to get her a large order of french fries. (Side note: She didn't actually want french fries, she just "Needed a vehicle to carry the ketchup she was craving") I pull up to the menu board (with credit card terminals that never work... what the fuck Sonic), place my order, and then I am asked the dreaded question "Anything else for you sir?" Panic ensues. My eyes look over the menu 20 times in 5 five seconds, my mind screaming "NO ERIC, YOU DONT NEED ANYTHING" and my stomach screaming "FUCK THAT GUY UP THERE, HE THINKS HES SO SMART BUT DOESNT KNOW SHIT! GET A COOKIE DOUGH BLASTER MWUHAHAHAHAHA"
Two nights ago at Sonic, will power prevailed; I did not order anything for myself. Hold your applause.
But there is an even more intense battle of will power happening inside my own home. That pregnant devil-woman has littered our home with temptation. Every. Fucking. Place. I. Look.
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| Carbs |
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| More Carbs |
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| Delicious Carbs |
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| Stoner carbs |
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| Pregnancy carbs |
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| Grreeeeeaaaat carbs |
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| Salty carbs |
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| Stick your finger in when nobody is looking carbs |
So I must ask all of you accountabili-buddies out in the interwebs... how do you get past the temptations strewed throughout your home? How do you keep from giving in? Is there a healthy snack you keep on hand for times of crisis? When is it ok to splurge? Show me your ways!
Carb-Ease, CraveCheck, Catalyst, and Spark.. I lose weight even when I do have cheat days..
ReplyDeleteThey tell you that if you keep fruits and veggies on-hand at all times, and eat fruit when you're craving sweet, and eat veggies when you're craving salty, that you won't WANT the sugars anymore. Before you say BULL...think about THIS SH!T for a second..I LOVE sugar...in all forms...M&Ms, Rock Candy, Candy Buttons, Now&Laters, Snickers...you name it, chances are if it has more than 25g of sugar in it, I'll love it. NOW...when I started my diet in May, I removed ALL PROCESSED FOODS from my daily routines. Everything I ate, and I mean EVERYTHING, was home-made, or made fresh by someone else (even when I traveled for business). After a week (a WEEK), I no longer craved the sugars that I thought I couldn't live without. Not kidding - when I wanted something sweet, I had a plum, bing cherries, or a peach (HOLY HELL, grilled with greek yogurt on the side....YUM).
ReplyDeleteAlso - Breakfast Balls - YESSSSSS. I think I just like them because they have BALLS in the title. Heehee... http://www.gimmesomeoven.com/no-bake-energy-bites/ You're welcome :)
I wasn't kidding about the balls part - there are just multiple recipes out there...feel free to edit and add as you see fit...just make sure you have the basics... http://www.yummly.com/recipe/Breakfast-Balls-754183?columns=6&position=3%2F66
DeleteI think I might need to go back to blogging about this ... I LOVE cooking...why not share it with the world??