Marital Spite and Impulse Purchases - Better than Jesus....

Has a TV Show/Movie/Commercial ever made you decide to do something? Like right in that moment, stop what you are doing and act upon what you just saw? If your answer is no, you are missing out on a little thing I like to call being impulsive.

Hi. My Name is Eric, and I am an impulsive person.
(Hi, Eric.)

Being impulsive is not always a negative trait. Impulsive decision making has made me a successful business person. If life throws me a curve ball, my impulsive nature is used to instant change, and I handle it like a pro. I am able to make decisions on the spot. Nine times out of ten, it is a phenomenal trait to have.

My best friend of 15 years, Kyle, loves to tell stories about my impulsive nature. He shared in his Best Man Toast at my wedding, a story from when we were in college. He knew I had just received my student loan overage check for the semester (about six grand), and when he was pulling up to our apartment that night, he saw a box for a 50" Plasma TV sitting by the road. He thought "No, Eric isn't that stupid, surely he didn't go blow his student loan money on an oversized (at the time) TV". He walked into the living room, saw me assembling an entertainment center with a shiny new tv, shook his head, muttered "God Damnit Eric", and kept walking.

When it comes to impulse purchases, I have come leaps and bounds since those days.... for the most part.

I know what you are thinking... Eric! What the hell does any of this have to do with you trying to lose weight?
Well... everything, actually.

You see, this whole decision to be a healthier person can be pinned back to the night my wife and I watched a Netflix movie in bed.

JUNE 12th 2015 - Netflix and Chill

It was this night, we were both in the mood for a documentary. She had been watching some food related documentaries, so it recommended "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead". Its a great watch, and I highly recommend you check it out. As we watched it, I saw a man who was roughly my height, my weight, drop TONS of weight doing nothing at all but drink juice. The lazy side of me was in awe at how simple it seamed. The nerd in me was floored by the science and data he showed to support his case. The impulsive decision maker in me decided in that moment - This is what I MUST DO!
"Babe, do we have a juicer?"
"Yes."
"Its going down - starting tomorrow."

JUNE 13th 2015 - No, but seriously, tomorrow for sure....

What can I say? She wanted to go out for a greasy Sunday lunch... who was I to say no?!

JUNE 14th 2015 - But this one is better!
On this day, I dug her juicer out of the closet and cleaned it up. I had no clue what to put into the juicer, so I hopped onto Google, and what do you know: The Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead guy had two recipe apps on the App Store... for $20. So $20 later, I now have the recipes. But I need the fruits and veggies. So off to Sprouts (the working man's Whole Foods) I go. $170 later, I have a weeks worth of food to juice.
I ran a test juice, and realized that the old juicer we had at the house was not as good as the ones they had shown in the documentary. So I hopped onto Google, and what do you know: The Fat Sick and Nearly Dead guy endorses a line of very expensive juicers. So Amazon Prime later... I have a new $300 juicer en route for next-day delivery

"I swear baby, I am starting this for realz tomorrow"

JUNE 15th 2015 - Juicing is fucking DISGUSTING
Seriously. Juiced kale is why there is war in the middle east. Its fucking horrendous. No amount of lemon or lime can offset that fucking awfulness. Fuck. Juicing. There has got to be a better way.

JUNE 16th 2015 - BAE gets angry
Sometimes I think that my wife gets off on getting to rub things in my face. She had told me not to spend the money on the juicer. She had told me not to go crazy with this whole thing. But I did. So I got mocked and yelled at all at the same time. She was angry I was already giving up after such a lofty investment, and she was making fun of me for my "space juicer" that was never going to get used.
I hate to say it. But she was right on both counts.

The next month went by with constant reminders about the juicer that was still sitting on the counter collecting dust. I went back to eating like an asshole, and being angry at myself as soon I was done eating like an asshole.

About a week after a Fourth of July pool party with our families, my wife's aunt sent an email with pictures from the party. There I was in the pool, larger than everyone else. I just didn't look healthy. It bothered me. It festered on my mind for about a week.

JULY 16th 2015 - Random impulsive decisions 
While out in the field for work, eating my fast food lunch, I past the Life Time Fitness in McKinney. I don't know why, but I jerked the wheel, and pulled into the parking lot. "I'm just going to check it out and see what it costs", I thought to myself. An hour and a half later, I was the newest member of Life Time with a renewed urge to be better. God bless impulse buying.
The plan was that I was going to use their pool. I was going to swim the fat away. Great plan for a fat guy with bad knees who was on a competitive swim team almost 20 years ago.

JULY 17th 2015 - Amazon destroys marriages 

I went to the gym for my first ever workout. I swam some laps, and realized quickly it was going to be harder than I thought. But I enjoyed it. But I needed some training gear....
My wife was PISSED. "This is going to be the juicer all over again. Why not see if it is going to stick before you spend that kind of money" She was right... but I was determined to prove her wrong.

Just for shits and giggles - here are a few other recent Amazon binge shopping sprees:

JULY 31st 2015 - No obligations, its free to try out... GOTCHA BITCH
I was given one free personal trainer session with my new membership. Figured I would try it out. Imtisal talked me through my goals. He then kicked my ass for an hour on lots of different machines. When the hour was up, I was dying, but I was smiling ear to ear.
"Alright man, I'll bite. What's the cost for another session"
"$99 an hour. Want to sign up for once a week for the next month?"
*while holding out my AmEx and shaking my head* "fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck"
My wife said nothing about it. (I was kind of surprised, but didn't question it)

AUGUST 8th 2015 - 90 Day Challenge? FUCK YEA
Imtisal had been pushing me to enter the upcoming 90 day weight loss challenge since our first session. It was only 30 bucks, and there were some monster prizes (top weight loss participant in the nation will get $10,000). So what the hell. I paid the $30 and kept on doing my thing.

SEPTEMBER 13th 2015 - Planning for a baby
Laying in bed, my wife and I get into an impromptu discussion about finances and our plans for the short-term and long-term future with our child on the way. We were talking about big monthly costs in our budget, and I brought up (with a cringe on my face) the $495 a month I was paying for a personal trainer, ON TOP of the $95 a month for gym membership.
"I have no problem with that" she said.
I was shocked. Floored. Speechless.
"I can see the difference you are making. You are sticking to it. You have proven me wrong, and I am proud of you. It is worth every penny." (I think she mumbled something about how I still need to end up looking like The Rock)
Be still, my heart. My wife is better than yours.

So here we are at present day. As of the morning I am writing this, I am down THIRTY FIVE MOTHAFUCKIN POUNDS, and not to brag, but I am THE MOTHAFUCKIN LEADER (Locally) OF THE 90 DAY CHALLENGE. Read em and weep. In three short months I have finally found my groove, stuck to a plan, and made a (now) noticeable difference.

Impulse decisions can be dangerous. They can be expensive. But my friends, if it weren't for my impulsive nature, I wouldn't be writing to you today.

-E